Miles' Brief Guide to Central Oxford

Note: this was part of a letter I wrote to Robert/Silas a while ago, when he asked me to show him around Oxford. If you're thinking of coming to visit, you may find this useful for getting an idea of the kind of thing I can show you. The stuff here is based on the tour I used to do while working for Guide Friday, but unfortunately my memory of it isn't perfect any more.

The route we took was railway station-> Hythe Bridge St-> Nuffield-> Westgate-> Castle St -> Christ Church-> Carfax-> High St -> Magdalen Bridge -> circuit of the Plain -> Magdalen Bridge again -> Longwall St -> St Cross Road -> Science area -> Broad St, Sheldonian etc -> Natural History Museum -> Engineering triangle -> Banbury Rd -> Canterbury Rd -> Woodstock Rd -> St Giles -> Beaumont St -> Canal Basin -> Park End St -> railway station. Obviously you're not going to want to do that lot on foot or even bike. But here's a precis of my tour: work out which bits you want to take. There's a rather good map at http://www.ox.ac.uk/aboutoxford/maps/colls.shtml . Apologies for all the bits you know of this lot.

THE RAILWAY STATION -> CASTLE ST

Leaving the railway station, natter about the early history of Oxford as a Saxon cattle market, and mention the story of St Frideswide, our patron saint, who, in spite of running away to Bampton, was forced to marry someone but prayed to various saints until he was struck blind, and she bathed his eyes in water from a holy well (origin of the treacle well in Alice) and he gave up on the idea of marrying him and she became a nun. Body allegedly in ChCh cathedral. Point out Royal Oxford Hotel (Charles I's garrison headquarters), red brick building opposite (Frank Cooper's Oxford Marmalade factory). Go down Hythe Bridge St. When you reach the end, point out St George's tower on the right (oldest Norman tower in the country). On your left is Nuffield college (1937, money donated by William "Lord Nuffield" Morris the car manufacturer, co-ed from 1937 on, but only for postgrads). On your right is the motte from the Norman castle, now part of the prison. Tell tale of the Empress Maud who was beseiged here and escaped by wearing a white cloak (it was December, and they had snow in those days). Remark that the prison is now being turned into a luxury hotel. Pause for laughter. In front of you is the Westgate Centre: this is built on top of the West Gate of the city, hence the name. Walls built by Edward the Elder: current walls (as seen at New College) date from about 1200 odd. At this point the bus goes down Castle St and past the car park, while talking about the university's beginnings (1167 UK students expelled from the University of Paris, many come to Oxford because of jobs being available at Beaumont Palace, 1203 charter from Pope, third in Europe after (I think) Boulogne and Pisa, first colleges founded in mid C13). Mention Francis Bacon and Duns Scotus, both Oxford men. When you get to St Aldates, point out the Bates collection of antique musical instruments in front of you, including Haydn's harpsichord, and the police station where they film Inspector Morse.

ST ALDATES AND CHRIST CHURCH

Turn left up St. Aldates (originally known as Fish Street after the street markets: all sorts of stuff was sold out in the open in the Middle Ages, and the covered market was mainly set up to deal with the traffic problems), past Pembroke and Christ Church, our larges college in terms of area (Keble has most students). Mention Ch Ch memorial gardens and Ch Ch meadow (might be a good place to walk around). Pembroke is broke, and was bailed out a couple of years ago by their boat club. Dr. Johnson, also perennially broke, went there. Christ Church, founded in 1520 by Wolsey and called Cardinal College, taken over in 1529 by Henry VIII for reasons you could explain better than me and renamed Henry VIII college, Oxford cathedral moved there in 1531, college renamed to Aedes Christi, hence "Christ Church" and "the House". Alumni include 13 prime ministers, 11 rulers of India, Edward VII, Prince Leopold (son of Victoria), Fox, Peel, Gladstone, Godfrey, you get the idea. Lewis Carroll (aka Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) mathematics fellow there. (side note - Alice Liddell was the daughter of the Liddell of "Liddell and Scott" Greek dictionary fame. Allegedly she had an affair with Prince Leopold, and she certainly named her son after him, and he named his daughter after her). Also a bloke who used to feed mice to his students and dug up a panther so he could cook it and have panther chops. Tom Tower (big bell tower thing, can't miss it) built by Christopher Wren in about 1680. Rings 101 times at 9.05pm every day, for the 101 scholars of the original foundation. 9.05 because Ch Ch has its own time zone - they obtained a special exemption when UK time was unified to GMT. Not as mad as the Merton Time Ceremony, during which people walk backwards round the cloisters for an hour drinking port to prevent the universe being destroyed by the shift to Summer Time. Ch Ch was where the King had his court during the Civil War - the Queen was at Merton, as was Charles' mistress. Proceeding up St Aldates past the museum of Oxford, the Town Hall and the offices of Tim Henman's father, we come to Carfax, the centre of the medieval city (which reminds me - Ch Ch built on site of South Gate). See that Abbey National? Used to be the site of the Swindlestock Tavern. On St Scholastica's day, 1352, some students were drinking there, decided the beer was too weak, threw it in the landlord's face, causing the landlord to run across to Carfax tower and ring the bells, which was the accepted code for "kill the bloody students". "Oh dear," thought the students, and ran to St Mary the Virgin and rang the bells there, which was code for "kill the townies". A six-day riot ensued, with several colleges being besieged, twenty-three students being killed, and the town having to pay reparations to the university until the C19.

THE HIGH

Carry on down the High St. On your left is the covered market - built in 1774 to relieve traffic congestion. Past it is the Mitre, which you already know about. Next to that is Lincoln College Library, formerly the church of All Saints, deconsecrated in 1974. Carrying on you come to Brasenose on your left (named after the brass gargoyley doorknocker which used to be on the door - nicked by some Americans and BNC students used to have to swear an oath never to teach in a particular town in America). BNC was founded in about 1530-ish, but was previously one of the medieval halls. Opposite (I think) is Oriel, Sir Francis Drake's college. 1306, if memory serves: it was the original St Mary's college, (New is the new College of St Mary) but it's now better known by the name of its window style. Next you come to the church of St Mary the Virgin, the centre of the medieval university, and where a lot of the teaching used to be done - though the current one only dates from about 1400 or so. Note the working gargoyles in the shape of a lion. Next to it is All Souls (1432), founded by Henry Chichele to honour the dead of the Hundred Year's War. Has no students, only fellows. You sit a very weird set of exams, write essays on "Green" or "Diversity" (last year's topic), and if you get in everything is free and you have no commitments. A very high proportion drive themselves to nervous breakdowns with self-imposed overwork. Next is Queens (1342, founded by Robert de Eglesfield, chaplain to queen Phillipa, wife of Edward III) which gave the world Rowan Atkinson and Edmund Halley. The statue is of Caroline (of Brunswick?) who put up the money to have Hawksmoor rip the old one down and build what you can now see. Opposite is Univ (1249, claims to be the oldest: claim somewhat undermined by the fact that they only started actually teaching in about 1280. Merton (1273) claims to be the oldest because they have the oldest statutes: who cares? Balliol were founded in 1263, started teaching in 1266. St Edmund's Hall (1238) are keeping quiet because they only attained full college status in about 1965). Next to Queens is Queen's Lane - this is a shortcut to New and Broad Street if you want to go that way. Also has Teddy Hall on the right. At its entrance is the Queen's Lane coffee house, the oldest coffee house in Britain. Charles II tried to ban them for spreading sedition and free-thinking, but had to give in after 14 days. The stock exchange and Lloyds both started as coffee houses, but you probably knew that. Next to Univ is the Exam schools, finished in 1868 six days before exams were due to start. We sit exams in sub fusc - suit, white shirt, white tie, gown, carrying hat for men, and white blouse, black skirt, silly black ribbons and gown and hat for women. See the East Gate Hotel? East gate of the city used to be there, unsurprisingly. If you go down Merton St (between the Exam Schools and the Merton Bar) you can get to Merton, the back entrance of Ch Ch and the Philosophy subfaculty. When people finish exams we congregate there to throw champagne and glitter at them. Carry on past Magdalen (on your left, 1538 I think, founded by William of Waynflete of PSTW/PMM fame, Oscar Wilde, Edward III, several others who escape me, tower built by Wolsey with money he'd embezzled, hence him being sacked and founding Ch Ch to show them). Tower used as look out post in Civil War, choristers go up there and sing at 6am on May 1st, students stay up all night and have champagne breakfast, though we no longer jump in the Cherwell owing to spoilsport attitudes of Thames Valley Police. NB Magdalen deer park is a lovely spot for a walk, but they charge several quid for the privilege.

THE PLAIN -> NEW & MAGDALEN

Carry on over Magdalen Bridge across the Cherwell. The roundabout is called The Plain, and has a little fountain from Victoria's jubilee - not enough to encourage her to visit: she came only once, and called Oxford a "dark, damp and monkish place". Yeah, and we love you too. Point out Iffley Road, where the four minute mile was run. The building with blue shutters is St Hilda's, our only women-only college. The building next to it is Magdalen College school, where they get their trebles from. Now, go back across the bridge, and turn right up Longwall St. Talk about the 1912 Olympics when Magdalen robbed us of our Gold Medal. The Olympics being seriously amateur in those days, the side-by-side VIIIs final was between Magdalen and New. Huge bend in river. New wins the toss, and being gentlemen say "Oh dear, we seem to have won the toss. How frightfully embarassing. You choose sides, old boy". Magdalen expected to say "Not at all, you choose", but instead said "thanks, we'll take the south bank," and won the race by a narrow margin. New didn't complain, and so were awarded right to wear colours of Swedish royal family (purple and gold). Since our other college colours are brown and cream, we're quite happy about this. Nevertheless, our toast is still "GDBM", standing of course for "God Damn Bloody Magdalen". Anyway, on your left is New's spectacularly ugly graduate acommodation. Look through the iron gate at the end and you can see the 1200ish city wall. After that is the original Morris car factory. If you turn left down Holywell St you can get to New (1379, William of Wykeham, joint foundation with Winchester, Kings/Eton direct rip-off, built on top of plague pit, or at least in the really dangerous plague-and-crime-and-prostitution ridden part of the city because the land was cheap, formed template for all subsequent colleges owing to students actually living in; alumni include Senator Fulbright, Tony Benn, Hugh Grant, William Spooner, Angus Deayton - yes, a complete bunch of nonentities, I know).

SCIENCE TRIANGLE

Carry on down Longwall St, you get to the church of St Cross (Kenneth Grahame buried there, next to his 21-year old son). Law library (largest outside the US), my house, New College sports ground. Carry on up the road until it turns sharp left. In front of you are the University Parks: another possible site for a walk. Free, which is always nice. On your right is Linacre (graduate college, Henning's there), on your left is the faculty of Experimental Psychology - it won awards, believe it or not, and it's meant to look like an ocean-going liner. Turn left, and you're in the science area. On your right is the place where Howard Florey cultivated penicillin - yes, Fleming discovered it, but Florey did it in clinical quantities, and the first injection of the stuff was given in Oxford in (?) 1916. Further on is Chemistry and other such stuff, and (on your left) Rhodes House, where the Rhodes scholarships are administered from. I think there's 30 a year, half from the US. The bird on the house is the Zimbabwe bird, symbol of... Zimbabwe! At this point, slag off Rhodes for being an imperialist. Well, that's what I used to do, anyway. On your left is the Radcliffe Science Library. Turn left down to Wadham, the King's Arms and Broad St.

THE BROAD

Point out the Sheldonian (Chris Wren's first ever architectural commission), the Roman Emperors (if that's what they are: the originals are long gone, and the most recent sculptor described them as "a history of beards throughout the ages"), the Old Bod (the hospital in Harry Potter, copyright library since 1603, holds 12 million books and 1 million maps, mostly underground), the New Bod (1942, but not opened until after the war - ceremonial key broke in lock, to embarassment of royalty), the History Faculty (formerly the Indian Institute, hence the elephants), Blackwell's, the Clarendon Building (original home of OU press, built with proceeds of Clarendon's "History of the Revolution in England"), and Exeter (13-something, college of Richard Burton the actor). You've got a bod card, haven't you? You might be able to show them round inside the Bodleian or something. Even if not, wander up to Radcliffe square and look at the Radcliffe Camera and the back end of Mary the Virgin. This all used to be slum dwellings, and took twenty years to clear after John Radcliffe put up money for a scientific library. As you no doubt know, all the science books are now in the Hooke and the RSL, and the Rad Cam is mostly History. After contemplating people being thrown out of their houses for the greater comfort of undergraduates, wander back and look at the Bridge of Sighs and the former New College sanatorium (aka my old room).

NATURAL HISTORY, KEBLE etc

Head back up to the science area, past the New Bod (statue of Thomas Bodley above door), the KA, Wadham (1609, alumni include Christopher Wren), the backs of Trinity ("We have got more lawns than you"; college of Richard Burton the explorer) and St John's (richest college in Oxford, founded C16, graduates include Tony Blair and Jethro Tull), past the Natural History Museum (go in here, go on, it's great. It's got dinosaurs and stuff. At the back is the Pitt Rivers museum of anthropology, which has got loads of cool stuff in) and Keble (1868, or is that the Meiji restoration? Condemned by John Ruskin as "a dinosaur in a Fair-Isle sweater). Carry on up past the parks, and you'll get to the engineering triangle. At this point the buses turn right up Banbury road past the careers service (formerly the house of Prince Leopold), but that's dull and so you'll want to avoid it. Turn onto St. Giles by the Maths Institute instead.

ST GILES

Church of St. Giles is ahead of you - patron saint of beggars, lepers, vagabonds and blacksmiths. On the far side is Somerville (Maggie Thatcher, Benhazir Bhutto (sp?), Dorothy L. Sayers, Esther Rantzen), the Radcliffe Infirmary (first ever injection of penicillin) and Green College (clinical medical college, founded by the Texas Instruments people). Carry on down St. Giles. On your left, St Johns; on your right, St Cross, Blackfriars, the Eagle and Child (where the Inklings used to hang out) and the place where the OED was first edited. Head on down to Martyr's memorial: I'm sure you know the story and can tell it better than I can. Did you know that students used to climb to the top and hang stuff off it? You did? Bugger.

BEAUMONT ST

Turn right down Beaumont St (built on the site of Beaumont Palace, possibly the birthplace of Kings John and Richard I, now the abode of doctors, lawyers, dentists and similar lowlifes). On your right is the Ashmolean, and on your left is the Playhouse and the Burton-Taylor theatre (named of course after Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor). In front of you is Worcester (bits date back to the C13, the college itself is C18, I think: graduates include Rupert Murdoch, Lord Sainsbury, and Thomas de Quincey), and to your right is Jericho (yes, I know you know this stuff). Turn left past Gloucester Green bus station: the car park in front of you used to be the canal basin for the Oxford - Coventry canal, which was how Oxford used to get all its coal. Cross over the bridge onto Hythe Bridge Street. The Thai restaurant on your right used to be the bargee's chapel. The big glass building on your right is the headquarters of Blackwell's. Pass the Said Business School (first tower to be built in Oxford in fifty years - you would have thought they'd have made more of the opportunity) and return to the lovely railway station. We used to have one by Brunel, but it got torn down. You'd remember that better than me, though.